Are you a pastor? An elder? A deacon? A church leader? A church attendee?
Then please, I beg you, read this book - The Flourishing Pastor by Tom Nelson.
In 2024 I entered into ministry as a Youth and Young Adults Pastor. As I was entering, one of my mentors, Ps Jay gifted me this book and prayed over me.
I don’t know what I was expecting when I picked up this book, but there was so much healing from all the church trauma that I personally experienced throughout my life. There was also a deeper understanding and empathy towards all pastors and leaders who are in ministry, and it made me more passionate about ministry in general.
There are four areas that I’m going to touch on in this blog:
After my short experience in ministry, it has opened my eyes to the reality of what it truly means to be a pastor. It’s something no one talks about. As Nelson puts it - “The isolation and burnout; struggles with relational, emotional, physical and spiritual health; increasing expectations of congregations/employer; conflicts with the governing boards.”
Why?
Because what I’ve found during ministry and having been to a lot of churches, plus having spoken with a lot of ministers - the harsh truth is that many pastors are not healed from all their past hurt. This ultimately makes them ineffective in ministry. To top it off, Nelson’s statement which I agree with, says that “[pastors] are often inadequately trained, spiritually malformed, chronically discouraged, and woefully prepared to lead increasingly complex institutions and diverse faith communities”.
Too often I have walked into many churches and found that a lot of pastors have stepped into ministry without any theological education, formal training or onboarding. It was approved by the church based on their loyalty and tenure of attendance. You can only imagine the dangers that this could potentially surface in the church.
Do you know why this vicious cycle happens? Why do non-qualified people step up into ministry and then burn out?
According to Barna Research - 42% of leaders within ministry are planning to leave. I’m not talking about changing jobs, but leaving ministry work as a whole.
From my observation, the lack of people who are wanting to pursue pastoral vocation is part of the cause of all of this. Due to the lack of people, the desperation stirs within the church, so they pick someone who is overly passionate within the congregation and tell them to step up, and they eventually burn out.
So why is there a lack of people stepping into pastoral ministry?
In my opinion, the church is doing a horrible job in explaining what the actual job entails and advocating for the work of God. They only discuss how hard it is; how much sacrifice it requires; and the low income.
PLUS, I found that these are some topics that are not discussed enough within our community:
What’s my take? UNETHICAL.
If you’re this kind of parent, you really need to reflect on what the priority is. We should be encouraging our children to only live for God. But our society has decided that the more noble and reputable thing to do is to get a good stable income in a corporate company or becoming a doctor or lawyer. In fact, the children are told that any job will be better than ministry. We should be celebrating if our child says that they’re going to step into ministry!
The main cause of the issue? US - creating a culture of narcissism.
We all know that “when pastors flourish, congregations flourish, and when congregations flourish, communities flourish”, as Nelson puts it.
So what do we, as being part of the body, need to consider to support the pastors?
Accountability:
I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been part of a few nonprofit organisations, whether that be as an employee or as a volunteer. I have been personally deeply wounded by the church who refuse to speak up about the truth. Effective leadership, change management, work competency is rarely, if not, never discussed within the church.
Patience:
If we are not seeing the church flourish in some way or form, we need to carefully consider re-canvassing the core values. It needs to be defined, reiterated on a regular basis, first characterised by the leaders and also routinely revered.
What we see way too often nowadays is that people decide to step into ministry for these following reasons (especially in Australia): to teach, to use their gift of public speaking, to get discounts to enrol their children into private schools (YES, IT’S A THING!).
But what is too often dismissed, is shepherding. Pastoral vocation should not be a pathway for those who are not relational, as the role is to deeply love those who have been entrusted under the pastor’s leadership. When you’re a shepherd, it’s all about the sheep!
Another thing that is not talked about enough within the church, is that we must have a “teachable attitude; growing curiosity; eagerness to learn, unlearn, and relearn the increasing competency their calling requires…”
See how I’ve bolded and underlined “unlearn”. The emphasis is there because when pastors (and other leaders) have been serving the church for too long, they forget the importance of change management. It is common that leaders refuse to accept change because “that’s how we’ve always done it”, leading to stunted growth and/or even having a negative impact. For pastors (and other forms of leaders) to be effective, they need to be comfortable with change. Change equals growth.
To be frank and honest - pastoring is a very hard role.
A lot of times it’s messy. At least once in the career of pastoral ministry, people will face deep pain of betrayal from a staff, colleague, mentor and/or even a friend. And more often than not, there will be criticism (whether it’s justifiable or not, that’s a different topic). But any job that requires relationships, you’ll face some kind of element of the above. But it’s just a lot more excruciating as a pastor because the love for people and the ministry will most likely be far greater than a consultant at an accounting firm. 🤷🏻♂️
To pastors/leaders: Radically act to avoid all temptations and sin. I’m not just talking about the obvious, sexual immorality, but I’m also referring to things that are hidden, such as control, self absorption and gluttony. You must not only learn to shepherd, but remember that you need to also be shepherded well. Accountability is one of the greatest gifts you can ask for within this role.
Nelson also states that "humans are the only species on the planet that when lost, simply go faster”. You may be working hard, but this doesn’t equate to advancement.
We, as children of God, have a huge target on our backs. Satan absolutely hates it when more people start serving the church and build God’s Kingdom. He is doing everything he can to discourage us and dishonour our Father. So we need to stick together. Pray for one another. Love one another. Forgive one another. Keep each other accountable!
Lastly, we have our moments where we have to separate. Whether it’s due to relocation, being let go, or for disagreements within the church. But this is the reality. We may physically separate, but we are still one big family in Christ. What we Christians need to keep in mind is that we don’t only focus on starting well, but we need to learn to finish well. Nelson mentioned “how we finish will greatly shape the leadership legacy we leave behind”. A similar statement I have engraved in my heart (from one of my mentors) and take wherever I go is: “people don’t remember you from your first impression, but they’ll remember you from your last impression”.
If this blog has encouraged you, or even challenged you, I highly recommend giving this book a go. Also, please share with those who you think may finding encouragement from this blog: